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Monday, June 29, 2015

A Physiotherapist Named Ilsa

Today I met with my physiotherapist Ilsa. I don't think she weighs more than 90 pounds but boy that doesn’t stop her from inflicting PAIN as she knows where all the right spot are.
She started easy, making me feel like it was not a big deal. She just put a little pressure on my shoulder and asked if everything was fine. Everything was very fine, I was so relax. Slowly she started to poke her fingers deeper, and deeper under my arm. Everything was still fine but I was a little uneasy with her touch however I sucked it up, I'm a man, I can take the pain, right?
She probably thought I didn't shed enough tears, so she said: “please turn on your belly” in her soft singing voice. Well when I say soft singing voice I mean in an authoritarian voice that you don't care challenge.
Did you know that, a long time ago, the continents separated? Well I was getting a hands on experience on the subject as Ilsa wanted to separate my left blade shoulder from my right! “Every thing is OK Mr. Richard?” I didn't answer, it's not that I am a bad patient, it's that when you apply enough pressure on my back and my lungs are collapsing, talking is just not one of the option I can do!
After 3 hours of my half hour session, I regained enough air in my lung and told her: “That feel good … when you stop!” She laughed! I think it's a sure sign that she is a psychopath!
Tomorrow will be a much better day, how couldn't it be!





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13 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 30, 2015 at 7:40 AM

    Oh physiotherapist … 2 parts helpful, 3 parts sadistic pain mongers.

    - Hairy Toes

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    Replies
    1. RichardJune 30, 2015 at 5:37 PM

      I was only joking she is sweet and so careful. (I had to write that, never know she might read this one day and I'll be the one paying the price)

      Delete
  2. MariaJune 30, 2015 at 8:04 AM

    This made me laugh. I have a physiotherapist. Her name is Cyn. She is tall, thin and looks like she would topple over in a stiff wind. But, she kneads and presses and pulls at me like a 300 pound woman with a grudge.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. RichardJune 30, 2015 at 5:39 PM

      I think they all attended dominatrix school :)

      Delete
  3. AnonymousJune 30, 2015 at 11:03 AM

    3 hours of your half hour session... :D

    -WWE

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    Replies
    1. RichardJune 30, 2015 at 5:41 PM

      Maybe I exaggerated a little it felt more like 2 hours 59 minutes and 59 seconds

      Delete
  4. The Happy WhiskJune 30, 2015 at 2:51 PM

    Oh my good gosh, you are a funny writer. I have no doubt that you make all your doctors laugh, because you are just that funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RichardJune 30, 2015 at 5:43 PM

      Ivy I try my best to make THEIR day more enjoyable while holding my screams!

      Delete
    2. The Happy WhiskJuly 3, 2015 at 12:56 AM

      You are a good egg.

      Delete
  5. Lowcarb team memberJune 30, 2015 at 7:19 PM

    I love your choice of cartoons.

    Hope physiotherapist Ilsa can help you and your shoulder to a pain free place.

    All the best Jan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RichardJuly 1, 2015 at 7:06 AM

      Thanks Jan, so far she is not helping, we decided to take a break until I see my doctor and check if he can go in the shoulder (with a needle) and remove the calcium deposit... looking so forward to that :)

      Delete
  6. Plowing Through Life (Martha)June 30, 2015 at 9:40 PM

    Hahahaha...I got a big laugh out of this. Not at your pain, my friend, but because I've been to a physiotherapist and I totally understand! And sympathize :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RichardJuly 1, 2015 at 7:07 AM

      You can laugh Martha... one day Karma will made it alright ha ha ha

      Delete

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