Apples or oranges?

“I believe that obesity is a disease and that fat shaming is unacceptable.” From Tracey

I read that statement from Tracey a couple of days ago. She came and left a comment on one of my post. I don’t know about you but every time someone new takes the time to write me a comment, I check them out.


I have been meaning to write about “cheat days” and “don’t be hard on yourself” for a while now but didn’t want to do it just yet. I kept putting it off because I am uncomfortable about this particular subject. As Tracey’s statement has been on my mind since I read it, I decided to go ahead and post my thoughts.

The uneasiness to post about this is not for what I’m going through, I’m doing great 99.9 % of the time. It’s about other blogs and comments I read but I really don’t want anyone thinking I’m judging or pointing fingers at them. I’m not. I am writing this hoping it might help someone.

“Fat shaming is unacceptable.” I agree and applaud this statement. The problem is how we see ourselves. I never really cared about what people think of me; if they couldn’t see inside the over-sized men… they were missing a caring and funny (sometimes) real person. In my mind: “I’d rather be fat me, than you the judging SOB!”

So what if some SOBs judge us? It doesn’t hurt UNLESS you agree with them. I really took this turn for my NEED for a healthier me. It has a little bit to do about self-image but not that much. Health is my priority.

“I believe that obesity is a disease!’ That statement hit a home run! It is a disease, and it’s in the same category as addiction to drugs, alcohol, sugar, etc.

In previous posts I mentioned my problem was one of moderation. It’s no better or worse than people who binges or starves themselves or whatever else there is out there. If it were only a problem with moderation, and what I was abusing had been water, carrots and celery, would I have a weight problem? Of course not! I was abusing and attracted to the wrong type of food and drinks.

I have been on diets and exercise programs before. I walked in the shoes of so many failures. The biggest difference this time is: MENTAL

It doesn’t matter how little we eat, how much we exercise, if we see ourselves as fat, we will be back where we started and add some for good measure.

For example, if I had a drug addiction and I kept drugs at home, I know what would happen. I also know I can’t control my addiction, I can’t just “cheat” and be OK. My mental health would get the wrong message. And changing my life style started with my mental attitude.

I know people mean well but there are 2 types of comments that is really difficult for me to process: “Don’t be so hard on yourself.” and “Allow yourself some time off (or cheat days)”.

I have been hard on myself… I ate too much for years, I put over 65 pounds of fat on my small 5’7” body. I drank too much and ended up wasting the next day because of hangovers. I have to take pills to correct my health because I put my life in jeopardy. I have played sports with people in good shape in theirs late sixties, seventies and even eighties and got my a$$ kicked! That WAS HARD ON me!

Since I have changed my lifestyle I have been really good to myself, and I don’t suffer from any of the withdrawal symptoms. I have NO craving for anything which would not fit in my reaching my goal. It’s all mental. I don’t think about it; I decided to get healthy and there is nowhere else to go.

Now days I always make the right choice, but I set it up so my decision is about “Do I eat an apple or do I eat an orange?” It’s so much easier when you are not fighting with yourself!

I don’t have “cheat” days. I’m like those babies who are learning to walk. First they observe people walking successfully. They crawl to a chair thinking: “hey I have legs, I can do it”, they take hold of the chair and lift themselves up from the floor. They are so happy they smile broadly and do a little happy dance. Finally they will take a few tentative steps.

I am at the happy dance stage right now, I’m off the floor but I’m not ready yet to take the next step. It has to be in this order. How can you learn to walk without learning first to get off the floor?

All the cheating is cheating you from learning faster. People get discouraged and depressed because they are not running… we have to learn to stand up for ourselves first!