Thanks
to everyone that commented on yesterday post. Your words were heart
warming, I felt more love in those words that what Richard as a child
ever felt!
I
wasn't done yesterday but the post was starting to be long so I cut
it short. And from the comments I like to clarify something.
Every
year when I get my annual checkup, my doctor ask me if there is any
change in my family health. I always feel a little shame and guilt
about having to explain to him that I haven't seen anyone for 20
years and I don't know. I know that I took the right decision to cut
off my toxic relationship but I can't help myself to have some
longing for a normal life. I guess to explain it another way, it's
like if you lose your job because of event that were out of your
control, when someone asked you what do you do, you feel a little
shame that you are out of work.
I
can assure you, I like myself, I'm proud of what I accomplished. The
road could have been easier but even then I could have taken wrong
turns.
I
have a loving family, great friends and had a great job before
retiring. If there was anything to change, I would not change a
thing.
It's
all about the choices we make. Natalie wrote yesterday: “Just feel
sorry for anyone who had the chance to get to know you but missed
out.” This is so true, my mom's choices belong to her, I'm not
responsible. But from her choices she missed being part of her only 2
granddaughters' life.
When
I took my health journey in February, I made all the right choices
for myself. I took complete responsibility of where I was (health
wise) and took action.
I
decided to write the blog as a way of sharing the struggle to lose
weight. I came quickly to a big problem: there was no struggle! I was
focus and in pursuit like never before. There was no side road to
cheat-ville. I was making only healthy choices, 100 % of the time.
What
I'm saying is that you are in your own driver seat, it doesn't mater
your background, it doesn't mater what happened, it's all about now
what you are going to do. I think we all have many second chances,
why not take one right now?
My
thoughts are with the families of the ones that were killed in Oregon
this week. I don't get it that someone would be so desperate to do
such an act. My though are also with the shooter's family who must
have so much conflicting feeling between shameness and sadness.
Another well-written post, Richard.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I agree, we are in our own driver's seat. And that's a great thing.
Richard you are proof that someone can grow up in imperfect surroundings and still turn out to be a great person. We don't need to be victims of our past!
ReplyDeleteThere is a book called "We need to talk about Kevin" written from the point of view of a (fictional) school shooter's mother, how her life was destroyed too. Heartrending and amazing.
So very true. The only person we're responsible for is our own self. I imagine it was difficult to come to terms with all this. But you did. And you prevailed!
ReplyDelete