Thanks to everyone that commented on yesterday post. Your words were heart warming, I felt more love in those words that what Richard as a child ever felt!
I wasn't done yesterday but the post was starting to be long so I cut it short. And from the comments I like to clarify something.
Every year when I get my annual checkup, my doctor ask me if there is any change in my family health. I always feel a little shame and guilt about having to explain to him that I haven't seen anyone for 20 years and I don't know. I know that I took the right decision to cut off my toxic relationship but I can't help myself to have some longing for a normal life. I guess to explain it another way, it's like if you lose your job because of event that were out of your control, when someone asked you what do you do, you feel a little shame that you are out of work.
I can assure you, I like myself, I'm proud of what I accomplished. The road could have been easier but even then I could have taken wrong turns.
I have a loving family, great friends and had a great job before retiring. If there was anything to change, I would not change a thing.
It's all about the choices we make. Natalie wrote yesterday: “Just feel sorry for anyone who had the chance to get to know you but missed out.” This is so true, my mom's choices belong to her, I'm not responsible. But from her choices she missed being part of her only 2 granddaughters' life.
When I took my health journey in February, I made all the right choices for myself. I took complete responsibility of where I was (health wise) and took action.
I decided to write the blog as a way of sharing the struggle to lose weight. I came quickly to a big problem: there was no struggle! I was focus and in pursuit like never before. There was no side road to cheat-ville. I was making only healthy choices, 100 % of the time.
What I'm saying is that you are in your own driver seat, it doesn't mater your background, it doesn't mater what happened, it's all about now what you are going to do. I think we all have many second chances, why not take one right now?
My thoughts are with the families of the ones that were killed in Oregon this week. I don't get it that someone would be so desperate to do such an act. My though are also with the shooter's family who must have so much conflicting feeling between shameness and sadness.